The Real Definition Of Country Music Via The Highly Esteemed Urban Dictionary

Blake Shelton, Luke Bryan are posing for a picture

I’m here to finally squash this conversation about the definition of country music.

Thanks to the academic elites at Urban Dictionary, we were able to compile a definitive consensus on the definition of country music. Ok I’m kidding… most of it was pretty awful, but it made me laugh so we’re running with it.

Here’s 12 of the most hilarious definitions of “country music,” according to Urban Dictionary.

– “A form of music in which the words can be understood, any instrument is game, writing talent is critical, and every song doesn’t have to be about horny depressed teenagers singing one or two lines over and over.”

– “Type of noise (you can’t even call it music) that features the most mundane lyrics imaginable, “singers” that sound exactly alike, and the ever-present, excruciating fiddle. The only people that listen to this noise are white, racist republicans.”

– “A great form of torture for our enemies in the Middle East. The worst sound a person could ever endure–even worse than rap music. More specifically, it’s a form of folk music popular in the southern United States and Appalachia whose themes focus on cheating lovers, getting drunk, losing your car, losing your pickup truck, getting thrown in jail, losing your kids and getting a divorce.”

– “Losers who ride the band wagon, often listen to this filth. Luke Bryan is a herb with two first names. Nobody likes this music, they just go to concerts to see “wanna be” country girls who usually dress in sexy flannels and boots.”

– “Sane, easy to listen to music that requires intelligible lyrics and an actual melody. Furthermore, the lyrics aren’t designed to merely sound cool, but to tell a story. Listening will even demonstrate harmony vocals being done in the background. There are real chords that follow a logical progression, and instruments that require genuine talent to play. Subject matter can be anything, and I do mean anything. You name the real-life situation, and chances are a country song has been written about it.”

– “Redneck music. I can think of only one good country song. Often songs about the south, driving on the highway, marrying a cousin, etc.”

– “Music that was once pretty respectable. Nowadays, it’s been hijacked by rednecks singing about trucks, God, small town farms, and how America can do no wrong.”

– “Real music about Real stuff. Unlike almost all other stuff.”

– “A once amazing form of music, until the same money-hungry bastards who made pop music decided to take it over and ruin its future by recycling it into an augmented version of pop music. Nowadays, the soccer moms and rednecks who listen to nothing but this fake trash try to make it look good by comparing it to gangster rap. They’re both horrible.”

– “THE BEST MUSIC ON EARTH!! I dunno what the hell is up up with everyone thinkin’ that its all just a buncha stupid cowboys singin’ about pointless things! Its actually something that NORMAL people can relate to. Hell if it wasn’t for country music, life would stop, cus this is the music that keeps the whole damn world goin!”

– “The amazing genre of all music where the singers (most of them) express there feelings into there singing and makes me and other people smile and happy to allow the singer to add in little notes to express who they are and what they are like.”

– “A genre of music that 100% of people on this website bitch about nonstop, whether about how they think it’s retarded or how they think it’s been corrupted and so on. In reality, country music is just another genre of music that developed in the early stages of expansion in America, where the only instruments where handmade fiddles and such. The songs are understandable and about topics such as life, love, and loss. And just for the record, don’t call country listeners retards because PEOPLE CAN LIKE WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY WANT, YOU ARROGANT, CLOSE-MINDED DUMBASSES. You are not the authority on what is and isn’t cool. I can respect what you like, but can you respect what other people like?”

Clears that up…


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A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock