The gathering of family, decorating the tree, coming back to your home town, maybe a drunken hook up with your high school ex-girlfriend, all of this and more is why Christmas is widely regarded as the best holiday.
Musically speaking however, Christmas sucks…
If see one more Snapchat of a drunk white girl singing Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” or Justin Bieber’s “Mistletoe,“ I’m going to destroy my phone. From November 1st to December 26th the entire population of the United States is seemingly forced to listen to the same songs year after year. Anyone can make a cover of “Baby It’s Cold Outside” (well, not anymore) or “I’ll Be Home For Christmas.” I’m over it.
Original Christmas songs are few and far between, like the teeth on your uncle who won’t shut up about how the illegals are going to take his job, so here is a list of my top 5 Christmas country songs for when you need a break from all the Michael Bublé and Frank Sinatra.
“Leroy The Redneck Reindeer” – Joe Diffie
Leave it to Joe Diffie to give a good ole’ redneck twist on the Rudolph story we all know. I think I speak for everyone when I say this is the better story. Rudolph ends up sick on Christmas eve and has to call in his cousin Leroy to fill his place. Like the southern gentleman Leroy is he steps up to the task and does a better job than that red nosed loser ever did. Leroy “mixed Jingle Bells with a rebel yell” and probably asked Santa for a Bud Light when the delivery was over.
“All I Want For Christmas Is A Real Good Tan” – Kenny Chesney
This song has a way of making you realize that ditching the family Christmas and heading down to the Islands might just be worth your mother not speaking to you for the next six months. If you did end up going home to see your weird cousins and slightly racist grandmother, Kenny can take you there in your mind. Just one more reminder of how much Kenny Chesney’s life is way than yours.
“Honky Tonk Christmas” – Alan Jackson
Alan Jackson’s Christmas version of the classic “we broke up so I’m getting drunk” song is well deserving of the #3 spot. Be careful listening if you have a girlfriend, this song will make you want to call her up and call it off. Somehow being at the bar on Christmas after a recent break-up seems like a lot of fun when you hear Jackson sing about it in his iconic twang.
“Christmas In Dixie” – Alabama
Alabama paints the perfect picture of the south in “Christmas in Dixie.” The first slow song on the list, this has been a staple in country Christmas since 1982. This song is Christmas to the core but doesn’t need any mention of Santa or Mistletoe to get that point across. After a few cups of eggnog this tune might even bring a tear to your eye.
“Merry Christmas From The Family” – Robert Earl Keen
The number one original country Christmas song without a doubt is “Merry Christmas from the Family.” From the bratty cousins, to the uncle on his 4th marriage, REK’s depiction of his dysfunctional family Christmas is only rivaled by that of the Griswolds. If you’re in the mood for a Christmas song that tells it like it is, then this is the one. “Merry Christmas from the family” will always be a classic.