Study: Alcohol Is The Best Way To Deal With Your Annoying Family This Christmas

A man standing in the snow with a red object in his hand

Stress. Anxiety. Money spent.

Oh yes, Christmas time, and dealing with families. A recent study pointed out that alcohol was indeed the favorite way to deal with your family (or your significant other’s), during the holidays. So, let’s take it a step further and examine how to actually use booze to offset the stressful “family time.”

After all, most of us aren’t living the classic Hallmark movie this time of year.

Here’s your game plan this Christmas:

A kitchen with a sink and a toaster oven

Prepare your body to drink early.

You want to be in the best shape possible going into Christmas Eve and Christmas. You need to be in optimal form to handle the most amount of alcohol possible, while remaining functional.

Road sodas.

Assuming you’re taking a train, or flight, or in the backseat of a car you’re going to want to have road sodas. Road sodas AKA alcohol on the trip there. Maybe some shitty wine in a carton – love those, or a beer, or a few swigs of the whiskey you planned on bringing as a gift for yourself. If you’re on a plane, just start ripping through those Wild Turkey 101s like they’re about to stop making whiskey forever.

Take the extra drink.

Let your smarter self take a break this time. You’re feeling a little too buzzed around the kitchen table? Screw it. It’s Christmas, have another drink and try to smile.

Walk out on conversations.

When shit gets awkward, or contentious, just smile or act like you just realized something and leave the room. Find a TV or speaker with music and have a drink alone in the corner.

Suggest opening more wine.

Just keep drinking wine. Everybody gets sleepy eventually and will stop talking.

Suggest trying that new whiskey.

Just go for the “way too drunk around family” drunk at this point.

Suggest a family shot (drink shot, not photo shot).

Get everyone involved and happy.

Play a one-person game with yourself where you take a drink every time someone brings up politics.

This is inevitable. Politics. Try to combat getting annoyed with political bullshit by drinking yourself blind and thoughtless on the subject matter.

Merry Christmas!

A beer bottle on a dock


A beer bottle on a dock