Grinch Of A First Grade Teacher Smashes Kids Dreams, Tells Class Santa Isn’t Real

Billy Bob Thornton in a santa garment

This New Jersey elementary school must have hired Ebeneezer Scrooge to teach their first graders.

According to The News Tribune, a New Jersey-area substitute is in hot water after she told a class of first graders that Santa wasn’t real. Not only that, she ruined the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, Leprechauns, and anything magical in general.

Needless to say, parents are pissed at the school for hiring this soul-crushing Grinch as a teacher.

“I was heartbroken,” one mother said. “You know, my daughter is the hugest believer in the whole Christmas spirit – Santa, giving.”

“Oh, it wasn’t just Santa – it was the Easter bunny, tooth fairy, leprechauns, everything.”

“A grown woman tried to crush our six-year-old’s spirit, along with the spirits of the other 22 kids” in the class. She told them Santa isn’t real and parents just buy presents and put them under their tree. She told them reindeer can’t fly and elves are not real- elf on the shelf is just a pretend doll that your parents move around,” shared another parent.

I’ll be the first to tell you that I don’t know shit about being a parent, but the first rule of being around kids is don’t tell them that Santa isn’t real. That right is reserved exclusively for their own parents, just like having the big sex talk. Don’t have that with somebody else’s kids either, you’ll probably end up in jail.

In the end, one parent told her child that the sub was actually Krampus’ assistant, sent to spoil Christmas for everyone. And, of course, they bought it.

If I learned anything from this story, it’s that someday, lying to my kids will become a very important part of being a parent. And, when they find out the truth, I should just lie to them ever more to cover it up. Noted.

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A beer bottle on a dock