Behemoth Cow Saved From The Grill By His Own Massive Size

A group of cows standing in a field

It doesn’t even look real…

This is Knickers. Knickers is the biggest cow in all of Australia, possibly the world, and because of it, this big son of a bitch is going to avoid the slaughterhouse.

“He was too big to go into the export plant’s chain,” said Geoff Pearson, the steer’s owner. “We have a high turnover of cattle, and he was lucky enough to stay behind.”

At nearly 6 and a half feet tall and over 3,000 pounds, Knickers is nearly twice the size of the average cow.

“It was too heavy. I wouldn’t be able to put it through a processing facility. So I think it will just live happily ever after.”

What an absolute fucking tank.

One day you’re a farmer’s dream, and the next your a viral sensation and his worst nightmare. They say you can never have too much of a good thing, but they also say that too much of a good thing is bad for you, so who the fuck knows. Either way, this fat bastard avoided the grill and now he’s been elevated to King of the Cows. Look at the way they just crowd around him, in utter amazement.

I bet he gets all the cow ladies. All of them.

A kitchen with a sink and a toaster oven

A beer bottle on a dock


A beer bottle on a dock