There’s nothin’ wrong with a good fight. Keep it clean, but fight. It’s healthy.
Couples should, and need, to fight. It’s natural, and yes healthy. How so? Well, hear me out. According to Dr. John M. Gottman of the Gottman Institute, fighting isn’t a sign of a weak relationship, but a strong one… depending on how you’re fighting. Just don’t be a lunatic.
There are three basic styles, according to Gottman:
1. Those who want to sit down, compromise, and get back to being comfortable with each other
2. Those who want to be heard immediately and have the other person agree with them
3. Those who have no interest in dealing with problems
The first approach usually ends in compromise and peace.
#2 and #3 are bad.
Fighting strengthens the relationship by increasing trust. Relationship therapist Dana Ward explains, “Fighting is normal. While some couples may think fighting is the sign of a bad relationship, it is actually is very important. The key is fighting with a purpose.”
Fighting keeps you both sane, it increases intimacy, it means honesty, it shows how badly you each care. Fight with purpose, but find common ground and don’t let it linger. Multiple experts agree that when fighting is done properly, it strengthens the relationship.