If You Don’t Cook For Your Lady You’re Trash

I don’t know what happened to guys.

Chivalry seems to be all but dead, and everyone can’t wait to get upset about a Tweet. When it comes to social media, what do you see overrunning your feed like a virus? That’s right, food videos.

Everyone likes food, but not everyone can cook it (embarrassing as fuck). You could show a chimpanzee three Gordon Ramsay YouTube tutorials and the thing will cook you a perfectly medium rare rib eye steak with roasted root vegetables in about 35 minutes. But, there’s “men” out there that are burning water, and not cooking for their girls…unacceptable. FUCKING totally unacceptable. You want her to see you as some lazy grunting and farting Neanderthal? Of course not.

If there’s one thing you have to do for your girlfriend, fiance, wife, it’s cook for her. Show the effort you goon. Don’t tell her to make you a sandwich, show her what a real meal looks like. Wine and dine her in your own home, show her you care. Don’t get me wrong, the best of both worlds is when you both can cook, and take turns, or do it together. That’s like rom-com shit, and it’s great.

Cooking shows both finesse and taking control, manliness and creativity, the want to satisfy her, and the intention to make her happy. If you’re not doing it for her, you also probably don’t buy her flowers, or hold the door for her, but that’s for another day.

You want to be a big dopey goober? Go ahead. But you want to impress her? Cook. Shit, I don’t care if you even do one of those Blue Apron things where they deliver everything for the dish right to your door; it’s better than nothing. All you do is read, and put shit in the pan. Can you do that?

If you can’t cook, you probably will never be able to, but give it a try. She’ll appreciate it.

Bye.

Whiskey Riff is the most entertaining country site…ever.