10 Reasons Why “I’m Never Drinking Again” Is The Biggest Load Of Crap You’ll Ever Say

“I’m never drinking again.”

The little phrase that every one of us have told ourselves, perhaps over and over again, during the course of our lives.

You are laying in bed asking God to heal your hangover from hell, or just kill you because either way it would make the pain go away and at that moment you solemnly swear that you are never drinking again and this time you mean it.

Sorry, but that’s bullsh*t.

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Here’s 10 reasons why:

1. Drinking is fun.

Duh.

2. Your friends won’t let you.

You know there is always a reason to grab a drink and damn if every single one of your friends won’t have a good one. A birthday, wedding, a promotion, a kegs for a cause party to save the polar bears, no matter what the reason is, they will be inviting you to every single event in town. All of them have alcohol.

3. Work sucks.

Except ours.

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4. Work’s great.

You got that promotion? How else are you going to celebrate?

5. It’s good for you.

At 94 years young, Betty White has a glass a day. A big glass.

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6. Dating sober is terrifying.

They don’t call it the social lubricant for nothing. I need 3 shots before I even walk into a first date.

7. Because you live for brunch.

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8. Someone else is paying for it.

Even if you are at the bar and sippin’ on a tall and strong ice water, someone is going to buy a round of shots. One of those is guaranteed to have your name on it and who can really refuse free alcohol?

9. It goes great with country music.

When the suns out and the country music is turned up, there is only one thing missing in that equation. A cold beer.

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10. You deserve it.

Cheers.

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