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45 Men Describe Their Dream Weddings And Their Answers Are Incredible

If you thought weddings were something only women dream about, think again.

I know you may be thinking that men only care about the cost, but the fact of the matter is that the big day is pretty important to us and we have some interesting ideas to contribute too. The answers are all over the place and, aside from a random group of Star Wars fantasies, fairly realistic. One thing is for sure, they’re guaranteed to make you laugh, make you think, and make you love the internet.

Once again, the men of AskReddit came through, so here’s 45 men and their dream weddings:

1. “Free”

-rubberrobbyy

2. “Wedding. In. Space.”

-Shippoyasha

3. “Somewhere as remote and inaccessible as possible. Just an open bar and a few close friends and that’s it, but you soon realize you aren’t doing a wedding for yourselves, you’re doing it for everyone else…”

-TriceratopsHunter

4. “I’m having my wedding August 25th. We’ve planned everything, the guests, the non guests, the color of the table cloths, the flavor of the cake, etc … (goes on for a whole paragraph) Right now, my dream wedding would be Me, My wife, My best man, Her maid of honor on a deserted island in the middle of nowhere with flip flops and a nice shirt.”

-Back2Beantown

5. “I don’t even care if it gets my man card revoked, I like the idea of a semi-traditional wedding. Just not done in a church.”

-Nexaz

6. “I want an online marriage “Prime” tool where both of us can put in our Amazon passwords and the judge will drive to my door, complete with a pen, a couple of rings, and witnesses, in 30 minutes or less. For $15 extra, a pizza and a 2-liter bottle of Coke.”

-Michael_APKPLZ

7. “Just close family as guest. Small ceremony. Lot’s of sex afterwards.

-Baconlightning

8. “I couldn’t care less what she’ll wear or what she looks like. It all depends on what she cooks like…..Beef, pork, chicken. Mmmmmm.”

-jamestht

9. “I want to see the person I love feel as though on that day they’re the most beautiful woman on the planet. Because that’s what she’d be every day in my eyes. Just gotta meet her now!”

-PM-ME-YOUR-TUMMIES

10. “Sign the papers at the courthouse, friends over for a house party, won’t spend much more than I would for a regular party but since it’s a celebration of our marriage I secretly hope guests will feel obligated to get us wedding gifts and I won’t discourage them from doing so. I might get a guy to pretend to perform a ceremony and rent an arch for the backyard so it looks like I invited guests to a wedding ceremony. Depending on how much that costs and whether its the same price to just get the officiant to come to the party.”

-WantDiscussion

11. “I want my bride to walk into the room to the tune of the Imperial March. And as we’re about kiss, I want the Throne Room theme playing with best man dressed as Chewbacca standing to the side.”

-noelg1998

12. “In the woods. Just me and her. We make our vows to each other and that’s it. Then awesome outdoor sex.”

-FlowSoSlow

13. “Underwater officiated by a shark.”

-notsofastandy

14. “It would have a keg. That’s as far as I thought.”

-BrianPillmansGun

15. “For me, it’s a short ceremony – like 30 minutes max – to make the bride happy, then a shit show for a reception. If money wasn’t an option, I’d have Migos, 2 Chainz, Kendrick, A$AP Mob, and any other rapper I could think of doing performances. Open bar, with anything you want. Lean included. A smoker’s bar with every strain of pot in existence. Guests will be served with a fresh bong, dab rig, or vape on demand. Food will be good ole southern soul food. You can’t beat that shit. Location would ideally be in the mountains, it’d be an outdoor wedding, but with a covered roof.”

-Falconinati

16. “I go play a round of golf and spend the rest of the day drinking while she goes and marries someone else.”

-edmanet

17. “Shaft themed.”

-Arumple

18.”Getting married at the taco bell cantina in vegas. luckily my gf is down with it, and her parents don’t care as long as they’re invited. it will most likely happen. chalupa centerpieces on deck baby.”

-vladimir_tootin

19. “Huge and romantic. All my old friends and I’ll marry a girl with whom I have a lot of friends in common. She’ll have a body to die for and I will tear up 5 times during the day. Can’t wait to fall in love with a girl who loves me back with the same vigor.”

-MothersPasghetti

20. “I’d sooner just go see a judge and have it there. No cake, no guests, no ceremony. Use the money saved to go on a really nice vacation honeymoon.”

-Revalet

21. “Honestly that typical big wedding. I was raised, and while not particularly good at it, still am a practicing catholic so I’d like to get married in a church.”

-TheMysteriousMid

22. “Does signing papers and being done with it count?”

-Abaddon_4_Dictator

23. “Never really thought about it until I got engaged. Now that we are planning it what we’ve decide upon is my dream wedding cause I got to build it together with the person I love in a way that matches us as a couple.”

-thoselusciouslips

24. “Non-existent. A wedding ceremony is only symbolic and has no real benefit or use to my life or wallet. Only doing it because girlfriend wants one.”

-xjliftquestion

25. “Everyone is dressed as storm troopers.”

-Expert_on_all_topics

26. “I had my dream wedding. Just me and the wife on a scenic beach in Hawaii. No guests, no reception, just us, a photog and the ceremony person. Cost us very little and we were already on a honeymoon vacation. Highly recommend this way.”

-MontanaSD

27. “There’s a pirate bar downtown that will have a pirate officiate your service (service=literally just standing at the bar and he says “Yar, do yee? And yee? Yo ho ho.”), sign your paperwork, and give bride and groom a shot of Jaeger for $15. I’ve been trying to convince my girlfriend for like 4 years that this is what we need to do.”

-etherealcaitiff

28. “Done with a prenump in hand.”

-qukle

29. “Cheap, small, up in the mountains a bit, barbeque food, open bar, autumn.”

-not_working_at_

30. “Man, there are a ton of cynical comments in here with a ton of guys complaining about planning, cost, wishing they could just go to an island, etc. I’m getting married in October, got engaged last year on a beach in the Dominican Republic, and I’ve enjoyed every bit of the planning and lead up to the wedding. We aren’t breaking the bank, since our entire wedding will cost around $15k, with our parents helping with a little less than half of that, but we are getting married on a beautiful farm in the Shenandoah Valley.”

-callthewambulance

31. “Whatever makes the Bride happy right? Right! ;)”

-Mr5wift

32. “Just something small. I’m not religious so I don’t want it in a church. Just something small and cheap. Spend that money on an awesome honeymoon.”

-OptimusPitts

33. “Whatever my wife would want….within reason. Like not a blank check.”

-Jman7188

34. “I wanna get married by (or even to) a Rabbi Elvis.”

-BlueHighwindz

35. “With a beautiful woman, inside and out. That’s all that really matters in the end, isn’t it?”

-MBPyro

36. “I wouldn’t have a problem getting married at a courthouse, having a small “reception” at a nicer-than-usual pub and save the money for either the honeymoon, a house or potentially our children(s) college funds.”

-Givethedrumm3rsum

37. “Mine would be modeled after the medal ceremony at the end of A New Hope. All guests will be in costume complete with the same musical score. It’s been my wish since I was like….5 or 6.”

-PENNYDIM_

38. “I just want a girl who doesn’t want some big fiasco and it will go well. Those chicks who have planned it since they were 10 scare the shit out of me.”

-MarvDaMartian

39. “I’d be cool without an official venue. Find a nice place outdoors. Invite immediate family and close friends. Me in a suit, her in a wedding dress. Simple and happy.”

-McBroha

40. “Like a medieval main hall, a big feast and lots of wine/ale.”

-mrgoonermate

41. “BBQ and a bouncy house.”

-procrastinarian

42. “Normal wedding. Somewhere tropical; Hawaii would be ideal. The only thing I would have a strong opinion on is the food and wedding cake.”

-JabTrill

43. “With blackjack and hookers in a bar in Ibiza.”

-MITSF

44. “Me and Katie Holmes!”

-micleecon

45. “It happened on June 13th 2015.
We had it outdoors in a park. She came down the isle to an instrumental Philharmonic version of “All of My Love.” Dinner was a pig roast. We had lots of horseshoes, lawn darts, corn hole, beer pong etc being played. 6 kegs of beer from my favorite brewery (Naked Dove) and 6 coolers full of what I call “dad cans.” Music was good, people enjoyed themselves and I was married to the girl of my dreams.”

-rottinguy

Whiskey Riff is the most entertaining country site…ever.