If You Haven’t Blacked Out Before The Headliner, You Haven’t Been To Enough Concerts

A man flying a kite with another man watching
(Photo by Jason Kempin/Getty Images for Stagecoach)

Few things get you as amped as concert day.

You wake up, have a great workout. Every song that comes on your Spotify shuffle is perfect – it’s reading your mind. Go to work, easy day, compliments for no reason. Concert starts at 8pm, that 5pm beer never tasted better. You’re ready for a night of fun and music with your good friends. Your mood couldn’t be better. Your mood is so good in fact that you’re drinking beer like they’re gonna stop making it.


You’re drinking well tequila and whiskey the same way. Your excitement has surpassed your drinking ability and your sucking the stuff down like it’s your last day on Earth. You realize you forgot to eat any real food the last 6 hours, so you drunkenly and frantically shove an avocado down your face. You remember seeing a tweet once that said good fats are good to have before drinking so you also take some grass-fed butter and eat that like a sloppy mess. You’ll do anything to level out the inevitable blackout.

You pound water only to find yourself chasing it with more beer. You now leave the “pregame” and head to the concert venue. The first thing you do is order a drink, with no water, because your brain has already started to drift into a whitewater current of darkness.

Now, you’re way too drunk and way too excited for the opener you didn’t really care for. Because you sorta don’t care, but sorta don’t know if you care, you take more shots. At this point, your lips are tingly and you start hugging your friends telling them how much you love them. You start making vacation plans with them you all know will never happen. You’re in the best mood ever then BAM…






Wake up and it’s 9am.

You blacked out as the headliner hit the stage. You took an Uber to a burrito place. You got the burrito all over your bed and body. You slept with your boots on. You fucked up.

Next time, pace yourself. Water. More avocados. Remember, beer and liquor is great, but they’re not gonna stop making the stuff. You want to hit PEAK BUZZ as the headliner makes his/her entrance, not I might fall asleep at the urinal drunkenness as the opener finishes up.

Prepare. Play like a champion. Cheers, and don’t be this guy…

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock