There’s a HUGE difference between true, down-home, country girls and the wannabe buckle bunny girls that are pretending. The differences are night and day.
What are they you may ask?
1. Western glam vs comfort.
Boys. I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but the girl all done up in her American Eagle plaid that’s tied up and her jeans down around her butt hanging out around the chute, is a buckle bunny. She’s not worth the time of day. If her stomach is hanging out and her cowboy hat bends, she’s looking for a cowboy. And when I say “cowboy” I mean any guy that has a big belt buckle and a pair of cowboy boots on. She’ll look for anyone she thinks is a country guy and cling like a fly on poo. She might look “good”, but she’ll be gone in the morning. You need to look for the girl with dirt on her boots. The one with her pants up and a cowboy hat on that she’s proud of. And by proud of, I mean she can tell you what every spec of arena dirt is from and how it got there. Look for the girl that’s with a group of girls or guys that is comfortable in her own skin. Happy to be there. And can hold a conversation about the events going on or about what she feeds her horses.
2. Real boots vs Walmart specials.
I seriously can’t stress this enough. STOP WEARING KNOCK OFF BOOTS. Do you want to be taken seriously? Then buy yourself a pair of good boots. And WEAR THEM! If they’re clean and have seen nothing but country concerts, you’re a buckle bunny. End of story. I can’t stand girls that walk around the county fair or rodeos like they are the best thing in the world but they’re wearing the cheapest knock off boots. Who are you fooling? That’s right. No one. We can see through your act. We know you bought those this morning specifically to wear here. And no, they’re not real leather. go away. Find yourself the girl that has on muddy Ariat’s or Justin’s. She’ll be able to keep you interested in her much longer.
3. Straw cowboy hats vs Actual cowboy hats.
Listen, if I can put my finger through your cowboy hat you’re a buckle bunny. If I can bend your hat with my hands and make it a different shape, you’re a buckle bunny. Get yourself a real hat. They’re not that expensive. Depending on what you buy. Stop giving us a reason to point you out. We can see through your act. We know that you got your cowboy hat from a bar promotion or Walmart. Go get yourself the girl with the beat up cowboy hat that wears it with pride. Now she’s got some stories that you’d love to hear.
4. Real nails vs fake nails.
Hey girl, despite your American Eagle plaid shirt tied up and your fake cowboy boots I can tell by the fact that your nails are 5 inches long and perfectly painted that you’ve never saddled a horse or done a hard day’s worth of work in your life. You’re officially a buckle bunny. Who do you think you’re fooling? No one that knows a damn about anything that has to do with being country. You may be searching for a cowboy, but he sure as heck isn’t searching for you. Now, I like to get my nails done occasionally, but they’re ruined within the first 2 days. Chipped. Broken. I’ve learned It’s a waste of money. If you like to get your nails done, cool. Good for you. however, if you like to get your nails done so they’re 5 inches long, don’t show up at my fair or rodeo in camo or plaid. We can see you’re a buckle bunny. Go sit on the bench with the other thirsty buckle bunnies. Look for the girl with dirt under her nails and scars on her hands. She won’t disappoint. I can promise you that.
5. Short shorts vs Jeans
Okay. If I can see your butt cheeks, you didn’t come here to watch the rodeo. You came here to find a “cowboy”. Stop bending over. Everything is already hanging out. No need to display it even more. Get off the fence. You aren’t the main attraction. I promise. You’re just a buckle bunny. Go talk to the girl in dirty jeans with the lead rope around her arm. I promise she wont disappoint.
6. Jeans made with holes vs holes earned.
Yes, your jeans may be $60 and have all those holes in them, but we can tell you bought them that way. However, it goes great with your Hollister plaid. None of our guys are interested in you. They know you’re nothing but a buckle bunny. And if they are interested in you, they wont be in the morning. While you’re buying jeans with holes in them, we’re extremely upset that we just put a hole in our $150 Miss Me’s because they got caught on the barbed wire in the field.
This is a category all its own. If the only country songs you know are by Florida Georgia Line or Cole Swindell, go away. Just go away. You’re a buckle bunny. Now, I love Florida Georgia Line and Cole Swindell. However, I was raised on and love Merle, Cash, and Coe. If you don’t know the guys that made country music, you don’t deserve to listen to today’s country music. If you don’t know who Lorretta or Dolly are, you are kicked out of the country way of life. You are forever labeled a buckle bunny. Go enjoy that title.
8. Overdone make up vs natural.
If I can wipe your beauty off with a tissue while you’re at a rodeo. *buzzer sound* BUCKLE BUNNY! Country girls really don’t care about our make up when at the rodeo. Now we look good. We have makeup on usually, but it didn’t take us 3 hours to do. It probably only took about 15 minutes. If that. We’re too busy running around making sure we have everything we need and our horses are loaded to have time to do makeup. If you spent more time on your makeup then the time it took you to drive to the rodeo, I’m labeling you a buckle bunny. and I don’t even feel bad about it.
9. Mixed drink vs beer.
If you’re dressed up in western glam, have more makeup on than a rodeo clown, and I see you drinking a fuzzy navel or something fruity. I’m just punching you. Kidding. But I am going to call you a buckle bunny. to your face. And then laugh. This is country 101. Beer. Rum. Whiskey. I’ll even let Vodka slide. But if your drinking some fruity crap, I’m not letting you around anyone I know. Especially guys. My friends deserve better and you need to find a different bar. You’re a buckle bunny.
10. Bleach blond vs natural.
If your hair is bleach blond under your Bud Light straw cowboy hat you’re a buckle bunny. done. Over. You’ve been labeled. Now I’m not talking about just your hair being dyed. Its hard to find someone with their natural color. But we’ve all seen these girls. Bleach blond with the tied up flannels and short shorts hanging over the chutes trying to talk to the riders. Girl, no. Go away. Even if we aren’t laughing at your appearance we’re laughing at your valley girl accent and the fact you’re trying to act dumb. You may have the guys paying attention to you, but we’re about to walk over and mess that up. Everyone can tell you’re fake. You might think you look good, but no one else does.
Whiskey Riff is the most entertaining country site…ever.