Want To Be A Great Girlfriend? Be His “Jetpack”

I have a confession… I hate spooning.

What’s become the world’s most popular way to cuddle, is a suffocating nightmare for me. I can’t breathe with that mess of hair in my face and, for some reason, your body is like 8,000 degrees and I start feeling like an iguana burning up on a hot rock. It sucks. I’ll do it for a little bit, but when it’s time for me to sleep, I detach from the surface of the sun and roll my ass over. Unfortunate, I know, but that’s just how it is.

I have another confession… men love the “jetpack.”

Some call it being the “little spoon,” but that sounds ridiculous when you’re twice her size. She climbs on my back and hooks onto me like I’m a fucking astronaut. We’re still close, I can breathe and, for some reason, I don’t feel like I’m drowning in a sauna. She’s my jetpack and it’s amazing.

Try it sometime. You’re welcome.

Whiskey Riff is the most entertaining country site…ever.