Modern Dating Isn’t The Problem, You Are.

A couple years ago, when I was single, my dad looked at me and said “just walk up to a girl you think is pretty, tell her she’s beautiful, and buy her a drink.”

I laughed, and tried to explain to him times have changed. Girls are wired now to run from that approach, the approach the real men of yesteryear used. Was my dad right, was I right, what the fuck was happening? Well, that approach does work, so does the one-liner at the supermarket, or while at the dog park. You’re just trying these with the wrong people. Girls want to be courted, treated with respect, loved unconditionally. Guys (the good ones), want someone that will support their passions, and be their other half. Often times, it really is that simple.

A person holding a trophy

I can’t go a day without seeing some post on Facebook about “Why Millennial Dating Sucks.” For girls, it’s a way to rationalize being stuck in their ways. For guys, it’s a way to say all girls are crazy, and continue to suck shit themselves. While technology has messed a lot of shit up when it comes to human interaction, at our core, we still want the same feeling people felt 30 years ago, 100 years ago. Guys, you need to try a little harder. Quit being an asshole; that shit isn’t cool when you’re 38 and working in a cubicle, pretending to be an alpha male. Don’t do anything you don’t believe in, or mean. Are you completely in love? Part of that means doing everything you can to make your girl happy, because that makes you happy. Be the face of 1-800 Flowers. Bring that rom-com stuff to life. It’s not an act, when you mean it, but don’t be afraid to show it. You may think a text complimenting her will make her feel great, and I’m sure it will. The hand written note with flowers with the same comment will make her feel a whole lot better.

No girl, with a brain, will now, or ever prefer that text. So, if technology is ruining everything, DON’T use it when love is at the center.

Look, I get it. My friends and I have seen plenty of girls with guys that have made us say “what is she thinking?” It’s as though the girl’s approach is “treat me like shit, and be mean, and I’ll be with you forever  – yay!” You have to understand these girls have mowed through douchey dudes like a tractor in a corn field. They begin to question if the guy who cares is really out there. The one that really listens. The one that will cover her apartment in heart-drawn Post-It notes.  Guess what? That guy is out there. And the girl that wants it is too. Sifting through the bullshit takes time, but don’t settle.

Maybe for once, listen to nobody else but yourself. Your heart. Block out all that outside noise, and maybe take a chance where you typically wouldn’t. Maybe be persistent (not creepy) with that girl even if she blew you off the first time. Girls, maybe give that guy a chance (unless he’s creepy). The dating scene is what you make it. You want to be with a guy that treats you like shit? He won’t be hard to find. But do me a favor, the next time you do find him, pass. Fellas, if you’re one of the good ones, don’t change because you think no girl wants what you provide. Trust me – they do. It may take some longer to realize, but they’re out there, and you will find them if you stick to your guns.

So, to everyone, quit complaining. You’re not gonna find your soulmate at the club, so quit dating guys you meet at clubs then posting articles on Facebook about why guys are assholes. Guys, tell a girl she’s beautiful and buy her a drink. Maybe then surprise her with some flowers. Not just a week in, but always.

Always be surprising her with flowers.

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock