A person and a child holding a bag

27 Signs You’re In Your 20’s, But Actually Old As Hell

I noticed something recently.

You hit a wall in your mid to late 20s. Life changes quickly, and continues to change even quicker as time passes. I mean, I’m about to be 29 and at times I feel 64.

Here are 27 signs you’re in your 20’s but actually old as hell…

A kitchen with a sink and a toaster oven

27. If you’re a guy, you have to pee sitting down when hungover. And the picture above is you, basically.

26. You feel like you need a nap after breakfast.

25. You binge watch an entire Netflix show during one Saturday sit-down.

24. And then spend 12 hours on Sunday watching recipe videos on YouTube.

23. You have a custom acoustic playlist on Spotify.

22. You buy a lot of candles.

21. Or incense.

20. You wake up at 7am on Saturday to do laundry.

19. And cleaning puts you in a good mood.

18. You buy Pedialyte ahead of a heavy drinking weekend.

17. You’re locked and loaded with a 3 month supply of Melatonin.

16. Too much noise pisses you off.

15. You love to complain about stuff, like the cost of a bag of grapes. How is that shit $8?

14. You bring a koozie with you to bars.

13. You love to buy sweatpants.

12. You love to cuddle with stuff.

11. Quality wine started impressing the hell out of you out of nowhere.

A kitchen with a sink and a toaster oven

10. No matter how much you work out, you still get this fucking muffin top thing going easier than ever.

9. Along with that, you care a lot more about cardio now than ever before.

8. You buy expensive skin care products made in foreign lands.

7. You buy live/real plants.

6. You love to work yourself up people watching.

5. You love to listen to podcasts.

4. You always have flushable wet wipes on hand.

3. A rickety bar stool is your sanctuary.

2. You say “back in my day, a couple too many Four Lokos and your heart would explode. This ‘new’ recipe ain’t shit.”

1. You understand kids these days will never understand the exhilarating feeling of rushing home after school to catch TRL and drink a Squeeze It.

A group of people in the snow

* Bonus sign: you download white noise apps for sleeping and meditation apps for getting your shit together.

A beer bottle on a dock



A beer bottle on a dock