Girls, I know you can relate when I mention ‘that guy’ who just wasn’t ready for all you had to offer.
Maybe your independence and strength scared him away.
Maybe your desire for actual commitment sent him running.
Maybe his head was in the clouds while you were waiting for him to notice.
Maybe he was stuck on his ex meanwhile, you were there ready to love him fully the way you thought he deserved.
Maybe he simply just wasn’t ready.
Whatever your story is with that certain “he” you’re thinking of, I know he hurt you in a somewhat unintentional kind of way, nonetheless, he still hurt you.
Here are 5 takeaways and thoughts I had from Chris Bandi’s “Man Enough Now.”
1. He wasn’t ready and that’s all it comes down to.
No matter why or in what way he wasn’t ready, the point is that he wasn’t. Honestly, girls, you don’t deserve someone who “isn’t ready.” You deserve a man who is all there with clear intentions ready to take on life by your side. You don’t have time for immature boys who don’t know what they want.
2. When he comes running back around don’t give right in.
One day he’ll realize what an idiot he was for missing his chance. He’ll try and make his way back into your life out of nowhere. Whatever you do, do not go running back into his arms right when he shows up again. I don’t care how cute he looks, what words he says to you, or what happy memories come rushing back into your head when you look at him. He needs to prove to you that he really is “man enough now” and that the same thing won’t happen again.
3. At the same time, if he proves it to you then maybe he really does deserve another shot.
This is a hard one for me to even say because the strong female in me would like to have a screw him mentality, while the tender-hearted side of me would like to think of it all as a timing/God thing. You see, timing can really suck as a human. It always feels like the timing is just off, like if it could be 5 years down the road or 1 year sooner it would’ve been perfect. It’s actually funny how confident we sound sometimes when we really have no idea what’s in store for us. God’s timing is so much better than our own.
If this guy comes back into your life after voluntarily leaving it the first time, guard your heart and don’t give in right away… but at the same time, if he genuinely pursues YOU and shows to you that he’s a man now then maybe he does deserve another shot. Maybe you weren’t ready for him the first time around even though you thought you were.
4. If you think you’re with a guy right now who is not a man yet, move on.
Don’t wait for the heartbreak that is bound to come from being with a boy instead of a man. Even if you don’t see it yet, it’s bound to happen. If a guy isn’t fully ready for all of you, the good and the bad, then what’s going to happen when hard times come? He’s going to be hauling ass the opposite direction and you’re going to be left heartbroken. Don’t let it get to that point.
5. Breaking up so you can figure yourself out apart from the relationship isn’t a bad thing.
A lot of times people view breakups in a very negative light, when there are a few specific circumstances in which breaking up will actually make the relationship stronger in the long run. If you’ve been dating someone for a while and feel like you need space to figure yourself out again, the ask for time apart. You might know for certain that this is the guy you’ll be with forever, but you also know that he isn’t fully where he needs to be to be with you. He doesn’t know who he is without you anymore. You both need to grow and prioritize your own lives so you can come back to each other better than ever. This kind of breakup truly for the best. Whatever you do, don’t confuse someone breaking up with you in a ‘for the better’ kind of way with someone breaking up with you because they don’t love you anymore. There’s a difference.
**Disclaimer= Figuring yourself out does NOT mean breaking up so you can hook up with whoever you want.
Overall, my big point is, wait for a MAN not a BOY. If you don’t know the difference, I wrote this yesterday. You’re welcome. Here’s to the boys who are “Man Enough Now” and Chris Bandi for this song.