20 Signs You Grew Up In A Crappy Suburb

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There’s something beautiful about that small town life you hear about. The one stop-light town. Main street. Hell, we wrote about it and people really responded – check it here. 

Problem is, some of us didn’t grow up in the quaint small town country music sings about. Some of us grew up in like a sorta medium size suburb kinda town that was pretty shitty, ya know? I mean, I did. You know what I’m talking about: decent sized high school, multiple McDonald’s, multiple stop lights, like 40,000-ish people.

Anyways, if you’re like me and from one of these sorta small-medium sized shitty towns or suburbs, you know these 20 things to be true.

A kitchen with a sink and a toaster oven

20. You had a Dairy Queen or two in town.

19. You had a Kohl’s, or a Target, or something similar near your High School.

18. Your nicest restaurants were Buffalo Wild Wings, Applebee’s, etc. And they were all bunched together.

A sign on the street

17. You had a mattress store somewhere, actually you had many of these in strip malls.

16. There were a lot of hillbilly guys that would drive their cars shirtless once temps hit 75 degrees – they mostly listened to hip-hop.

A kitchen with a sink and a toaster oven

15. Walmart was the biggest freak show in town.

A kitchen with a sink and a toaster oven

14. People smoked a lot of cigarettes.

13. The grocery stores sucked shit.

12. Football was sorta a big deal, but other sports were too, and it all kinda was just bleh.

11. A lot of the people you went to school with were generally not bright.

10. People did drugs.

9. The cops came down hard on underage drinking and other things everybody does.

8. You had a lot of “subdivisions” – all the houses looked the same.

7. You had every fast food chain.

6. And every bank.

5. A movie theater was probably the coolest attraction you had, unless the new Meijer really got you jacked up.

4. A lot of guys wore jorts. Not like the cool Sam Hunt jorts, the not-cool ones.

A kitchen with a sink and a toaster oven

3. Lower back tattoos were trendy for the ladies.

2. Putting a coffee can on your muffler made you cool.

1. In the end, you couldn’t wait to leave town and go to college. Ah, freedom.

A kitchen with a sink and a toaster oven

A beer bottle on a dock


A beer bottle on a dock