35 Thoughts I Have In The Madness Known As The Front Row

There is something special about being in the front row at a country show.

First of all, it’s a battle just to get there. It requires dedication, strategery (thanks George Bush) and a willingness to forego alcohol. To be honest, it’s not my scene. If I’m not lucky enough to be side-stage, I prefer to stay closer to the bar, closer to the bathroom, and further from the mess, but occasionally I wander my way up to the front and take it all in from the view of country music’s most dedicated fans.

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Here’s what I’m thinking:

1. How did I get here?

2. Where’d all my friends go?

3. Oh well.

4. Why do I feel like he’s looking at me?

5. Is he looking at me?

6. Uh….singing to me?

7. No.

8. My God…that girl is crying….

9. Gimme a break.

10. I have to pee.

11. I need another drink.

12. Not going back through that crowd.

13. I hope he dives off the stage.

14. I’ll help catch him…. kinda.

15. Doesn’t happen enough in country music.

16. I’m sweating.

17. Guitar player is really getting after it.

18. I wish I was a guitar player.

19. I’d be an animal up there.

20. Why is everyone recording every second of this?

21. Are they really going to watch it all later?

22. I really have to pee.

23. I really need another drink.

24. Flask would have been golden.

25. Does he notice people singing the wrong words?

26. Did someone just grab my ass or am I being robbed?

27. I feel like an idiot standing up here.

28. What do you think you’re doing?

29. Trying to squeeze in front of me?

30. Not happening amigo.

31. Actually, I don’t care.

32. I need another beer.

33. Need an exit strategy.

34. Ugh….I can finally breathe.

35. Time to pee.

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Whiskey Riff is the most entertaining country site…ever.