There’s something beautiful about that small town life you hear about. The one stop-light town. Main street. Hell, we wrote about it and people really responded – check it here.
Problem is, some of us didn’t grow up in the quaint small town country music sings about. Some of us grew up in like a sorta medium size suburb kinda town that was pretty shitty, ya know? I mean, I did. You know what I’m talking about: decent sized high school, multiple McDonald’s, multiple stop lights, like 40,000-ish people.
Anyways, if you’re like me and from one of these sorta small-medium sized shitty towns, you know these 20 things to be true.
20. You had a Dairy Queen or two in town.
19. You had a Kohl’s, or a Target, or something similar.
18. Your nicest restaurants were Buffalo Wild Wings, Applebee’s, etc. And they were all bunched together.
17. You had a mattress store somewhere.
16. There were a lot of hillbilly guys that would drive their cars shirtless once temps hit 75 degrees – they looked like a mix of Kid Rock and Eminem.
15. Walmart was the biggest freak show in town.
14. People smoked a lot of cigarettes.
13. The grocery stores sucked shit compared to Whole Foods. We didn’t have a Whole Foods.
12. Football was sorta a big deal, but other sports were too, and it all kinda was just bleh.
11. A lot of the people you went to school with were generally not bright.
10. People did drugs. Lots of them.
9. The cops busted kids for underage drinking all the time.
8. You had a lot of “subdivisions” – all the houses looked the same.
7. You had every fast food chain.
6. And Credit Unions.
5. A movie theater was probably the coolest attraction you had, unless the new Meijer really got you jacked up.
4. A lot of guys wore jorts. Not like the cool jorts, the not-cool ones.
3. Lower back tattoos were trendy for the ladies.
2. Putting a coffee can on your muffler made you cool.
1. A lot of the popular people from high school now work at gas stations.
Whiskey Riff is the most entertaining country site…ever.