6 1/2 Reasons Getting Drunk On A Plane Is The Only Way To Fly

A person holding a cup

“It’s Mardi Gras up in the clouds, I’m up so high I may never come down.”

As soon as the wheels are up, I’m looking for flight attendant and her magical cart of liquid bliss. Getting drunk on a plane is the best way to make use of what’s usually a terrible situation. Have you ever flown Spirit Airlines? You have to be drunk to survive a flight in that dump. If you want make air travel a pleasant endeavor, kick back and have a drink.

Here’s why:

1. The excitement.

You’re going on vacation and about to have the time of your life. Nothing is more appropriate than a drink or two or ten. Timing is key though. You want to have that perfect buzz going the second you touch the ground.

A black coffee maker on a counter

2. There is nothing else to do.

Read a book? Sleep? Stare out the window? Psh.

3. It’s fun.

In the words of Chase Rice, “I like drinking, cuz it’s fun.” It’s even more fun when you’re on a plane.

A kitchen with a sink and a toaster oven

4. You’ll loosen up.

Planes are uncomfortable as hell. A bunch of people packed into a flying tin can, who can only stand up when they tell you. Knock a few back, buy a round for your neighbors or that cute guy/girl you’ve been eyeballing since you first walked on and start a conversation. Everyone will be better off.

5. The view.

The hell with a rooftop bar, I’m drinking at 35,000 feet. That’s a view.

6. Drinking games are on another level.

Ever heard of the Wade Boggs Challenge?

A kitchen with a sink and a toaster oven

6.5 It’s Free.

Depending on the flight, (mostly international) but take advantage if you can.

A beer bottle on a dock


A beer bottle on a dock