I always thought I would be a good bartender.
I like making people laugh, I like all kinds of alcohol, I’m creative. I mean, that covers it, no? You can teach a chimpanzee to make a Manhattan, but you can’t teach genius.
Here’s how my drink menu shakes out…
Cube angel food cake, soak in tequila, deep fry, powdered sugar. Fucking unbelievable. Get fat and drunk so fast.
A little dehydrated? A little sick? Still want to get drunk? Vodka + soda water + your favorite Emergen-C. You’re gonna look like a total asshole making this at the bar.
If you’re into Kombucha, this is the perfect hippie drink for you. Just add vodka, and a lime wedge.
Coconut gelato, topped with your favorite rum. I don’t know if I should eat it or make love to it.
You really want to be a degenerate? Make sure you can drink on day 4 of a bender weekend? This is what you need.
As your liver is deteriorating, internal bleeding likely, this drink makes you feel over the moon good.
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