40 Thoughts I Have Every Time I Pull Out My Phone And Tinder

Tinder is funny little thing. 

These days, I’ve graduated to Bumble (which is basically the same except the girl has to talk first) but either way, these dating apps are horribly addicting. While I’ve only been on a couple of actual Tinder dates, where I spent way too much money to never see them again, scrolling through the countless profiles can be fun and at times, a self-defeating endeavor.

However, it’s not really about the catch, it’s more about the journey. Here’s what’s running through my head while I’m wasting my time swiping the day away.

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1. I’m bored.

2. Nothing to lose.

3. How does every girl on here work at Trunk Club?

4. Or is a nurse.

5. What’s Trunk Club?

6. I need a better picture.

7. She’s hot.

8. I’ll check out her bio.

9. Oh my God, she’s perfect.

10. I’m gonna swipe right and marry this girl.

11. F***!!!!!!!!

12. I’ve sitting here for 10 minutes and I have no matches.

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13. I need a boat or a puppy.

14. That’ll get em.

15. Or an elephant.

16. Half these girls have a picture riding an elephant.

17. I should travel more.

18. Doesn’t everyone like to travel?

19. Why does everyone say that?

20. Basic.

21. Basic.

22. Travel. Starbucks. Sushi. Wine. Netflix. Puppies.

23. Congratulations you’re every girl everywhere.

24. Still no matches.

25. Time to switch up the pics.

26. Maybe add some years to my range.

27. It’s not like I’m going to take one out anyway.

28. I still want matches though.

29. Shit. I meant left.

30. Of course that’s my first match.

31. Who’s that guy? Better be your brother.

32. Left.

33. Ok enough of this.

34. Right.Right.Right.Right.Right.Right.Right.Right.Right.Right.Right.Right.Right.Right.Right.

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35. 2 matches…

36. FML.

37.  That’s 45 minutes of my life I’ll never get back.

38. Who am I kidding, I’ll be at it again tomorrow.

39. Ok, one more.

40. Ugh…I quit.

Whiskey Riff is the most entertaining country site…ever.