This is not a trap, I promise.
Believe it not, this local police department in Kutztown, Pennsylvania is seeking volunteers to get drunk… and they’re going to pay for it. Apparently, they need a little practice in the field sobriety test department so they’re looking to bring in 3 volunteers to get hammered and then they can use you as a practice dummy.
The full ad reads:
The Kutztown Police Department is looking for three (3) volunteers to assist us in training officers to administer Standardized Field Sobriety Tests during suspected DUI traffic stops. The volunteers must be available on April 4, 2019 between 2:30PM and 7PM. Alcohol will be provided however you will not receive any compensation for your time. In order to be eligible you must meet the below criteria:
1. Be in good health between the ages of 25 and 40 with no history of drug or alcohol abuse
2. Clean criminal history
3. Be willing to drink hard liquor to the point of inebriation
4. Sign a waiver releasing the Borough of Kutztown of any liability
5. Have a sober/responsible party take care and control after the training.
However, due to the massive response, they are no longer accepting applications.
Of course, everybody gets all squirrely as soon as an officer walks in the room, but they put out an ad for free booze and the whole town comes running. Despite them closing the applications and Pennsylvania being a bit of a hike from me here in Chicago, I’d like the record to reflect that I would be a prime candidate for this program.
Put me on the wait list or something…