Fake Artist Accounts Should Be Sued for Emotional Distress

First off, let me start by politely saying fuck every single one of these fake, spam, artist accounts.

They’re everywhere. They reproduce like rats on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. They are vermin. They are a plague. They have terrible grammar. Sometimes they get clever with their usernames, other times they add eight numbers to form something like this @Chr1sYoung1638239 – fooled me! Ya dumb fuck.

We get a lot of moms DMing us, asking if (insert artist name) is the real person. 100% of the time it’s not. Mom, that’s not Scotty McCreery that followed you, it’s a teenager in Bangladesh. Most fans understand the interwebs well enough to know a superstar country artist isn’t going to DM them asking if they can borrow “$14 US currency to help fund new venture” and telling them “you are #1 fan for me.” If you read these messages and it sounds like Borat is speaking, it’s probably not Kip Moore, or Dierks, or Chris Young.

Here’s what really grinds my gears, though. The “name” section of Twitter. Not the account handle, rather the name that shows up first. You can put anything there. So, every now and then, I see a Twitter notification “Tim McGraw” followed you. My heart skips a beat, my armpits sweat, the excitement hits me like a shot of nicotine and I might have to go #2, but it’s not Timmy. It’s this guy…

These assholes should be sued for emotional distress. Do you want my heart to stop ticking because I think THE Tim McGraw followed us so he can sit back and laugh at our tweets all day only to find out it’s some bot from Eastern Europe!?

Always look for that blue check, on all social media. We have one on Facebook and Spotify, but not Instagram and Twitter (LOL). So, when you’re on the ol’ Tweeter the real @WhiskeyRiff does not have a blue check. I repeat, no blue check. Any similar names with a blue check ain’t us. We are verified in your hearts by our lack of physical verification. We will only ask for money in the form of a t-shirt or hat purchase, if you choose to be so kind.

Tweet us the most ridiculous messages you’ve received from these phony fuckheads. Cheers.