What Your Uber Passenger Rating Says About You

Here’s a fun game for you to play.

You’re at a bar, you get a reasonable tab. Nothing crazy. Maybe there’s three of you that have been drinking for a couple hours. You all pull up your Uber passenger ratings, with the lowest score having to pick up the bill.

In case you didn’t know, you also get rated as an Uber passenger. Open the app, click the top left menu, and boom, below your name, that’s your rating as a passenger. Crazy how many people don’t know about this.

As soon as you see your rating, the wheels will start spinning. My rating is a 4.75. Not great – I’ll be the first one to admit that. You can only fall asleep in the backseat blacked out at 2am so many times before you naturally see your perfect score take a dip. That’s life.

Here’s what your Uber passenger rating says about you.

5.0

You’re either Bradley Cooper or Jennifer Lopez.

4.9-4.99

People should be lining up to marry you. The only ding in your score probably came as the result of the driver being pissed off at the smell of your cologne or perfume.

4.8-4.89

Solid character. Every now and then you’ll go crazy and have two beers.

4.7-4.79

You work a lot and are frequently stressed. Sometimes you don’t want to talk. Once a week you go out drinking and drink as if the world is ending to let off some steam. Then, you call an Uber…

4.6-4.69

You’re an asshole both drunk and sober.

4.5-4.59

You’re an asshole both drunk and sober and you smell bad.

4.4-4.49

You slam the shit out of the door, probably yell at people working in customer service, maybe act like a Kardashian with 0.00001% of the wealth.

4.3-4.39

If there was a competitive sport for vomiting you’d be a first-ballot hall of famer.

4.2-4.29

You say “bro” and “boss” every other sentence and ask “wanna go mother fucker?” if someone disagrees with you.

4.1-4.19

You hate puppies and you smell like cigarettes mixed with Fireball.

4.0-4.1

Remember that movie Weekend at Bernie’s? You’re the dead guy except you’re also covered in your own feces, piss and vomit.

* image via illpax/Shutterstock.com

Tags LifeUber