Call it middle class, call it burb life, call it your life as you know it.
Thousands of people gave the “most middle class thing” they could think of on AskReddit, and they are hilarious. You either live this life, or know somebody who does. Here are 33 ways you know you’re living the middle class life.
1. Having a nice double car garage but no room for your mid size SUV or Toyota sedan because its full of kids toys, unopened boxes of random shit that you haven’t looked at since you moved in and golf clubs you don’t use often.
2. Single family home in the suburbs, 30 year mortgage.
3. Spending an entire day from your weekend cleaning your own house and doing your own yard work and going to Costco.
4. Too rich for the FAFSA, too poor to afford college.
5. I’m going to paint my fence China white instead of 1/4 piano white. My suburb passed a ruling no green fencing…so I’m getting white that has a green hue in it. I’m just one man fighting against the oppression.
7. opens fridge full of tons of diverse fresh food. “There’s nothing.”
8. A messy garage with a refrigerator in it.
9. Company picnics are common.
10. Golden Retrievers are too.
11. A Toyota Highlander with Frozen playing in the backseat pulling up to a block party at a master-planned starter home community’s pool where the dads are grilling and the kids are running around everywhere eating freeze pops.
12. A grade school aged child having tempered expectations for Christmas gifts, and getting pretty much everything they wanted except for the most expensive thing. “Maybe next year, bud.”
13. Buying a Subaru because its practical and safe.
14. Family vacations. I remember coming back from summer break and my classmates talking about the trips their families went on and being extremely jealous.
15. A mortgage, a car loan or two, and having to save the entire year (or two) to take a vacation with the spouse and kids.
16.Drawing with chalk in the driveway.
17. Going to a neighbor’s to swim in their above-ground pool, while swatting away occasional wasps, and if this wasn’t an option, putting a sprinkler under the trampoline.
18. A tire swing and/or one of those assembly-required jungle gyms in the backyard.
19. A basketball hoop in every driveway.
20. One Prozac a day. Husband’s a CPA and her yellow SUV.
21. When your passenger side door handle breaks, you take it to the dealership for repair since it’s under warranty, when they send you to the rental company for a loaner car and the only thing they have is a Camaro. When you pull in to the driveway of your suburban home and tell your pregnant wife you’re going out to dinner at a nearby sit down restaurant because you need a reason to drive the Camaro around. Ladies and gentlemen, my husband last week.
22. Helping your children do their homework. Poor people don’t have time for that. Rich people have tutors for that.
23. Buy a house with a 2 or 3 car garage and pack them full of crap and park the cars in the driveway.
24. An above ground pool, alone, in the middle of the back yard, with those shitty plastic ladders that flail all over the place when you climb them.
25. Getting nice and loaded prior to a sporting event to save money; getting drunk enough for long-term-financial-goal apathy to set in and buying tons of food and beer in the stadium because you can afford it but shouldn’t waste the cash.
26. Having a moderate sedan that you try to keep clean. Theres bird shit all over it but youre waiting for the next rain instead of doing a car wash.
27. Having debt.
28. Going to a fast food place and not looking at the prices.
29. Having those silly little stick figure family stickers on the back of your minivan.
30. Being able to afford everything you need but not everything you want.
31. Going to Kohls.
32. My father having his neighborhood friends over to play horseshoes and drink Yuenglings out back.
33. A plastic bag of plastic bags under the kitchen sink.