Guys aren’t always the most in-tune when it comes to a woman flirting, or being interested. And this just proved it. Women were asked “what flirting signals do men miss or not pick up on?” and the results are pretty sad, funny, and a sign guys struggle in this area quite a bit. A bunch of guys jumped in on the thread to offer their confusion and input – it got pretty entertaining.
Here are 16 signals men often miss from women…
1. All of them short of directly asking them out.
2. (man here) The cashier at the grocery store told me my make your own ketchup mix “look like fun” and then told me “You’re gonna have to come back and let me know how it turned out” – Does she want the D or just being nice? (women responded she was likely just bored)
3. As a man, I couldn’t be able to tell if a woman is interested in me even if she told me, I would just think she’s messing with me.
4. In my experience, all of them except for the things that are definitely not signals. I’m looking at YOU, deli man who assumed my purchasing a half pound of provolone cheese was a come-on.
5. The problem with questions like these is that the answer is almost entirely dependent on context. Eye contact, smiling, laughing at jokes, etc are very ambiguous and can be interpreted many ways. Most guys are going to default to the safe position, i.e. not flirting, because it can be very VERY messy for a guy to assume flirtation when there is none and then act on that assumption.
6. Girls prefer to “create opportunities” for the guy to make a move, rather than make a move herself. Hints are clues, not confirmation. The real answer is to ask her out. Observe her “baseline behavior” and look for deviations, e.g. she doesn’t touch anyone but hugs you. These apply more to girls in their teens and 20s. Girls get more forward after that.
7. If she mentions at any time that she’s free or is going to be bored, she wants to spend time with you. It’s obvious in hindsight but I was a dumbass.
8. She suddenly had my exact music taste.
9. My current SO did not notice we were going on dates. We:
-went swing dancing for four hours
-went to a yoga class and followed it up with malts
-water color painted on my roof at sunset
He thought we were just pals being pals until I kissed him.
10. Guy here, you miss signs because you aren’t looking for them. You aren’t oblivious because you are incapable, you are oblivious because you tend to turn the blinders on. What do I mean? You walk into a party, and of course the hottest girl there catches your eye. You’ve entered oblivion at that point. You will watch that one girl for any possible sign (you aren’t getting one, which is why you keep watching), but fail to notice the existence of the several other women around. Start looking and you will start seeing. Or better yet strike up a 5 minute normal conversation and it should be abundantly clear.
11. Writing for my sister and she says men don’t pick up on eye contact and them being nice.
12. I’m just gonna speak from experience of being a guy. If she comes over after dark for any reason not specifically platonic (like picking stuff up) then she’s more than likely down.
13. According to my fiance? All of them.
14. If a woman compliments you on your appearance, I’d say that’s obvious flirting. BUT compliments on something you can control, such as how good you are at something. It may not be super direct like “wow you’re great at such and such” but anything that implies you’re really good at something, guitar etc. some guys miss that I think.
15. Late to the thread, but if you’re in a big group and someone makes you all laugh, most people immediately look at the person in the group they’re most attracted to. So if you notice she looks at you when she laughs there’s a good chance.
16. Its wierd but might just be me. Bt when I take a guy’s shirt sleeve in my hand and rub it as if trying to check out the material…it’s my sad attempt at flirting. Not really their fault if they dont pick up.
Maybe this will help some of the men out there…